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Internet was broken so I watched SkineMax

I went two whole days without Internet. Something was seriously wrong with my less than fabulous Road Runner service. Ask me how I feel. I was forced to do things I normally don't do like watch TV, or read a Book. Life without the Internet sucks..

So since I didn't have Internet I watched a bit of TV. Surreal Life wasn't that bad. Attack of the Show was lame as all hell, and Pimp My Ride was just plain garbage! So as I sat there and "Channel Surfed" I came across a movie called "SpiderBabe". At first I thought "Oh, another B Movie", but as I watched I became more and more interested. I wasn't interested because of the Movie's lame Story, oh no. I was interested because the main Character, played by Misty Munday, managed to sleep with every goddamn Chick in the Movie. And if that's not bad enough, remember the scene in SpiderMan where he's hanging upside down kissing Mary Jane? Well, SpiderBabe did the same thing but with an added bonus! Yes, a nice BJ. [Urban Dictionary BJ if you don't know what that is].

Misty Mundae is kind of cute, but her acting is terrible. She's the "shut up and get naked" type of Actress. That's all she's good for. Would I hit it? Hell yes! Maybe then she'd stop doing shitty B-Movies. Let's look at the Review:

Spiderbabe is a straight-to-video softcore superhero adventure which tries to cash-in as a spoof to the mega-blockbuster, Spider-Man. It's as cheap a knockoff as you probably would expect, but thankfully the makers of this trash know they're in over their head, and ratchet up the camp value as high as they can within the confines of their limited budget and contrivances to get every character into a sex scene with one another. What you probably wouldn't expect is that it actually manages to be amusing from time to time, with a few good jokes, some silly gags having fun with the original film, and a keen sense of its own kitsch. Yes, it's dumb, but uses this to its advantage in a smart way.

Erotic cinema star Misty Mundae (Play-Mate of the Apes, The Lord of the G-Strings) stars as Patricia Porker, a geeky teenager struggling with a crush on the hunk of the school, Mark Jeremy Wetson (Adam Cox, Breaking the Cycle). A freak accident sees her bitten by her science teacher's genetically engineered spider, giving her superhuman agility and a heightened state of horniness. She can climb walls, jump from building to building, and shoot webs out of her woo-woo. Because her Uncle Flem was killed by a thief she let escape, she fulfills her responsibility by becoming a superhero, stopping sex crimes throughout the city. However, she soon finds she has an enemy, the diabolical Lucinda Knox, aka Femtilian, who has notions of taking over the world.

As erotic movies go, Spiderbabe benefits from quantity but suffers in quality. There are probably a dozen sex scenes here, half of them involving star Misty Mundae, and nearly all of them are girl-girl. Each coupling is almost the same as the others, starting off with some chaste kissing involving flicking tongues (I'm guessing there was a problem with lipstick smearing), some very mild petting and a few gyrations or two. Basically, the sex is fairly boring, but the women are attractive, so those of you just looking for some gratuitous T&A will get your money's worth. Misty Mundae (22 years old here) has earned a following, I'm guessing, for her nubile young girl looks.

Where Spiderbabe scores some points is as a very cheesy lampoon of Spider-Man, gaining some solid chuckles by some imaginative take-offs. Uncle Flem and Aunt Maybe are loving surrogate parents, until Patricia leaves, and they engage in dominant/submissive activities. Spider-Man's infamous upside-down kiss is changed to an oral sex scene (again, showing almost nothing), and there are some plays on words that aren't really all too clever, but may gain a chuckle (The newspaper's name is "The Daily Bunghole").

The action is silly, but that's also part of the film's charms. Spiderbabe is not a good film by any stretch, but it's so earnestly handled, it's hard to dislike it outright. The cast appear to be having fun with the thin material, and some of the gage will make you groan from their obviousness, but at the same time, you'll probably grin throughout at the campy nature of it. Fans of Misty Mundae will definitely enjoy this quite a bit, as she not only bares all on a number of occasions, but she does have a comic charisma that works well with the material. How can anyone possibly hate a film where the superhero says, "From now on I'll only use these powers for good! And to get laid... Well, mostly for good. And to get laid"? Yes, kids, there are lessons to learn here -- Spiderbabe wants you all to stay in school -- and you should kick the dog if you pass gas in a room full of people. I love humor.

It's a b-movie through and through from Seduction Cinema. Bad, but in the good way.

©2004 Vince Leo

Misty Mundae.com

Internet was broken so I watched SkineMax - Friday, July 22, 2005 -

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